kindred spirit

loving one another.
confiding soley in eachother.
exchanging every single part of ourselves.
becoming an inseperable pair.
you could fill the deep dark void in my soul.
if only i could find you.
taste you.
have all of you, unconditionally.



no one else could ever become a part of me.
because you would occupy my entire being.
forever.
who could even fathom a love so sweet, so pure, so real?



one together is what we would be.
receiving stares of envy.
nevermind everyone else.
we have something uncomparable to anything most of them have felt.

Lewis & Staten

yea...

word of the day:

numb

ah ha!

i finally understand.
you must have felt like Joel (Jim Carey) in Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind when he found out Clementine (Kate Winslet) went to get him erased from her memory.
sorry.

optimism killed the cat

too sure of a favorable outcome.
too sure of the world's overall goodness.
too reliant on those damn nine lives.
the cat became too naive.


i hope i don't turn out to be the cat.

without my words i am nothing.

i find something so romantic about words. i guess it's the bond we have with eachother. the way i can play with them and have the ability to express myself so clearly. i have a great appreciation for them. our relationship is one that no one could come between.

fucking amazing!

word of the day:

self-reliance.

the bare minimum.

Early Morning Mania.

Around this time is when all my thoughts seem to race and cause a stir in my mind, but for some reason this morning is different. Nothing is there. I can't even force a decent thought to come out. It's so hard for me to even write about how I'm feeling. First time in forever. Maybe something GREAT is about to occur!

This has to be Cloud 9 or something of the sort.

Something to think about.

Those two posts still reflect what I'm feeling more than a year later.

Maybe I'm stuck in time.

July 16, 2007

Dear Negative Energy,

Au revior! I'm not sorry to say we will no longer be in contact. You haven't done anything for me. You've only brought me down, you're a damn parasite yo! Yes...I understand it may be hard for you to let me go but this friendship isn't a healthy one. You want me all to yourself. Got me paranoid. Filling my head with insane thoughts about everyone around me. I can't even believe I took the time to get to know you. For some reason you got the intention that you & I were good friends. I really wish you wouldn't have. I know there's someone else out there that wouldn't mind getting close to you. Someone who doesn't have anything else to do but feed your ego & has the time to give you all of their attention. Its just not going to be me. I know you may feel the need to keep in touch with me, but I'd rather you not. Trust me, I'll be just fine without you. Go die.

Sincerely,
Tyrell

P.S.- I'm serious this time.

[Nov. 20, 2008 & I still haven't gotten rid of you!]

written all in vain; Sept. 14, 2007

everytime you walk away from me a piece of me dies..because i truthfully see my future in your eyes...

when i imagine being with someone who would make me happy...it's only you i can imagine.
when i think about actually loving someone...it's only you that comes to mind.
when i close my eyes and picture perfection...it's only your face i tend to see.
when i go back to memories i never want to lose...it's mainly the ones i have with you that i never want to let go of.
when i hear all my favorite love songs...it's only you i wish they were about.
knowing that someone else gets the chance to love you is unfair.
don't you see me standing right here?!waving my hands, begging to be recognized!
desperation and fustration has caused me to write this.
you're something that i...
that i..simply can't resist.

everyone's a freaking comedian!

It has come to my attention recently that I am part of an endangered species of originals. I was that person who was always looked at as if I had three heads because my jeans fucking fit or my sneakers had too many damn colors in them, but now it seems as though I can just hop on myspace or something and find about 20 billion carbon copies of me. And these aren't people I don't know... Most of them are the same dudes who were pointing fingers & snickering behind my back as if I couldn't hear them, or that dude that was with their buddies secretly thinking I was cool but was too scared to say it. What's most hilarious about it all is that somewhere in these people's peasized brains they think they are the ones who are original or different. NEGRO PLEASE! I been on the shit you just now thought was cool since the 11th grade. This shit is really getting pathetic. I never thought it would impact me this much but now it's like I'm trying to find a new identity just to seperate myself from these wannabes. I blame the whole skateboard movement for the millions of fake ass Lupe Fiasco minions running around America. I can't wait for this trend to be over so I can get back to being myself.

We originals can't sit back and watch them fuck shit up for the people who didn't have to mimick their image & demeanor from someone else. We need to form a band of originals to fight against the band of corny carbon copies!

Obama

yesssss!

Prisoner.

love has brought me down to a new low.
gut wrenching nights without her.
heartaches all day long.
damn you love.
if you were out of my life I would be alright.
I would be able to cope.
seems like i can't go a minute without thinking about her.
thinking about the love we could have shared.
look how pathetic you have made me.
i should have never surrendered myself to your gimmicks.
but now i am forced to be a prisoner.

damn...

went from pure joy to pure sorrow.
funny how yesterday i didn't think this would be my tomorrow.
visions of you and I filled my mind.
now i see me with no you.
damn... this is unbareably hard for me to view.
seems like reality has found its way into my thoughts.

sorry.

sorry that i want you.
sorry that i need you.
i'm so sorry for everything i feel for you.
if i could i would take all the feelings away.
if i could i would stop hurting.
but i can't. i'm prone to misery.
so deeply engulfed in agony.


FUCK!

Heartache

Teetering on the brink of insanity.
I’m desperately trying to break myself free of a heavy heart & mind.
Too much of nothing bear themselves on these organs.
I want a clear state of mind & a seamless heart.
Seems as though this is a reckless desire.
For a heart never heals & a mind never forgets.

making something out of nothing.

i can appreciate that.

to her.

I stayed up half the night you were in my arms in disbelief.
Wishing it would never be over.
Wishing I could relive it every single day of my life.
Hoping you would feel the same.
Only to have you remind me that I was inadequate.
Only to have you reinstate that you loved someone else & we couldn’t work.
I believe we could.
I mean we would have to.

Because…

You complete me.
Imagine walking this earth knowing that half of you was missing & belonged to someone else.
Imagine the fury you would feel, the desperation flowing through your veins to piece yourself back together.
Imagine your heart beating solely to see the day when you were whole.
Just imagine would you…
Imagine every single thing that resembled some form of love for another human-being sparking up this fire in you that you couldn’t put out, even if you tried.

Trying to dismiss all the feelings I have for you is the most foolish thing I’ve ever done.
Waiting for you to see what I see is feeling like an eternity.
Thinking that you may never see it is killing me.
Every part of me, even down to the microscopic, aches to have you.
Although I can’t…

Forbidden Fruit.